Childhood Prayers

 

On a crisp September morning in 1980 I prayed for a grateful spirit. Later, after I had taken the children to school, I decided to take a quick walk in our Park Forest neighborhood before ladies Bible study. The autumn day was clear and crisp, reminding me of the excitement I always felt as a child at the start of each school year. After a summer of togetherness with my three little ones, I felt free and happy to be walking alone.

            As I walked, I felt so much gratitude for the life God had given me. I had so much more I had than I ever expected. Three healthy children. A husband who was a wonderful Christian and father. A nice home. More than I ever expected or dreamed of.

            As I thanked God, I was suddenly struck with surprise and wonder as I realized that every one of these things I enjoyed in life was a direct answer to the prayers I had prayed as a little girl. What were my prayers? I had prayed for a husband who went to church, two healthy children and enough money to provide for them. They were simple prayers, based on a child’s limited understanding. God had not only heard those prayers but had cared enough to remember them even after I had forgotten about them.

            Why would a little child pray fervently about things most children take for granted? I was a very serious child, a student of the lives of others. The drinking, fighting and worry over getting the bills paid in my own family had caused me to watch other families, evaluate them and take mental notes of what I believed to be the secrets to happiness. Why did I pray for a family to go to church together?  In my observation, those families who went to church together seemed to have more peaceful homes. I knew my grandparents and the other relatives in Enon and Bogalusa went to church, and their lives seemed to be stable and calm. No relatives, friends of my parents, neighbors or parents of my friends were exempt from my “evaluations.” I knew that I had received salvation in Jesus, but I also looked for keys to a better life for the family I would have!

            I had a really close look into the life of one family. The Blackledge’s lived in our neighborhood and Rothell worked with Daddy at the telephone company.  He was a deacon in the small Baptist church I attended. Daddy spoke about Rothell with respect.  I sat with their family when I went to church alone. Mary babysat Mike and I one summer when Mama was working, so I saw their household operate from the inside. I envied their daughters. The Blackledge household was peaceful.  I know they had no idea that a little person was watching. I associated peaceful households with church-going, so I prayed for a husband who would go to church with me. God gave me more.

            Why did I pray for two children? Mama had said that most people could only afford two children. I definitely wanted a family where money matters were not the source of so much worry and strife. I prayed for two healthy children and enough money to take care of them. God gave me more.

            I realized that fall morning that God had answered the prayers of a little girl who felt so alone in her faith, but He had not limited Himself to her actual requests. He answered the real desires of her heart – those she didn’t have enough understanding to ask for.

           As I grew up, I remembered my childhood prayers and continued to pray but, when the time came to choose a husband, I was not searching in the right places or with the right criteria. With the pressure to fit in at college, I didn’t think so much about God.  When I met Ralph, he was a real “party guy”. I saw that he came from a good Catholic family and went to church and I wondered how that fit in with my prayers, but I am sure being in love was the real reason I married him. I did consider the difference in religion but remembered how MawMaw Foil had approved of her Catholic brother-in-law, saying “those Frenchmen make good husbands.” Ha! She had even said that it probably would have been better if her sister had converted to Catholicism so they could have gone to church as a family – again, the value of “going to church as a family”. I didn’t think to ask Ralph if he had committed his life to the Lord, if he was a Christian. 

           Even though I was not wisely seeking for a husband who would be an answer to my prayers, God saw in Ralph a man who would become the strong Christian man my heart had longed for. I didn’t know that church-going alone would not assure the peaceful home I wanted, but even though I did not know what to pray, God didn’t limit His blessings to the specifics I asked for.

          I had prayed for two healthy children. I read every book and tried to do everything perfectly in pregnancy and child care. That didn’t stop me from having a miscarriage when Jennifer was about two years old. When Darren was born prematurely, the doctors were worried about his breathing during his first night. I was terrified and began to realize that I could not control and protect my family by just doing everything “right”. I guess I hadn’t even learned yet that it is impossible to do everything perfectly. I also saw that I wasn’t in touch with God enough to really pray for my baby. Still, God was faithful and answered my prayer. Darren got over his breathing problems and thrived, but I suffered from depression and emptiness. I began to try to find God again. 

           I had the two healthy children I had prayed for. Still, God gave me more. When Darren was a baby, the Lord guided us into a real relationship with Him.  We began to want another baby and we knew God would provide. So, God gave us Joel! I prayed for a baby of average weight because I feared having another premature birth.  God showed me the scripture “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.”  Eph. 3:20. Again, when Joel weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs. 1 oz., I knew that God had given me so much more than I could even think or know to ask for. What a blessing Joel has been – as we say in Louisiana – “lagniappe” – abundantly beyond what I prayed for.

           If God had taken my prayers at face value and answered them literally – giving me exactly what I asked for – I probably would have a husband who takes our family to church, two healthy children, enough money, yet possibly without the peace and joy of a life where Christ is known and honored. God sees the heart. He knew that my little heart was inclined toward Him, that I wanted Him, even though I thought I just wanted a family that went to church.

           God cared so deeply about the prayers of a little child that He remembered even when I had forgotten Him. He didn’t just eke out an answer that barely met my expectations, He gave me more. He gave me the desires of my heart, desires I didn’t have the maturity or wisdom to even recognize or express.

 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

            

People Who Influenced Me - My Mother and Father, Ken and Faye Mizell

 

My mother was the most kind, loving and patient mother a young child could have. She treated me with trust and respect and taught me to be compassionate to others. We were very close when I was growing up, talking over everything. She was a person who loved babies, and babies loved her. She worked hard as a legal secretary. She adored her grandchildren, but issues and illness prevented her from having a close relationship with them.

 No dad ever worked harder than mine in to support his family. Telephone lineman, installer and cable repairman…he did hard work out in the weather. Daddy was tough but a real softie inside.  He taught me sincerity and integrity. He never hid who he was—what you saw was what you got. I always knew they loved me—they told me so and showed me in so many ways.

 The marriage and money issues, anger and alcohol abuse in their lives caused me heartache and complicated the quality of our lives and relationships, but I loved them dearly and was loved by them.

People Who Influenced Me - Rodney Foil

 One of the greatest influences in my life was my uncle, Rodney Foil. He and wife, Patti Sue Thomas Foil, took me in during college at a time of marital unrest in my own home. They offered me a peaceful home and a way to attend LSU. I doubt they knew how closely I watched and learned from all they said and did. I watched how they disciplined and loved their children with patience and wisdom, how they decided matters between themselves, and the respect they showed to every person. Long talks around their kitchen table covered topics of education, career, marriage, family, racism, religion. No one had ever talked to me like that before. It was adult talk! They accepted and understood me.

 I drank in the calm. Patti Sue was a role model to me in many ways – a perfect mom and homemaker, but intelligent and free thinking. Their encouragement and a place to live made it possible for me to finish college. An imprint of what a family might be was made.  Rodney’s patient, kind and calm manner became my model for an ideal husband. He continued to be a rock to me until his death on February 4, 2018. He continues to be a father figure, although he was only 13 years older than I.  

Each of my children has said that he seemed to fill a grandfather-void in their lives. He liked to say he takes a little credit for how each of them turned out. He deserved so much more than “a little” credit!

Ralph shot this candid photo in July 2017 as Rodney and I scrounged through the last of his files for things he wanted to pass on to me.. He gave me much of the family photos and “stuff” because he said I was the only one in the family interested. We loaded up my great-grandfather’s blacksmith shop and moved in to my back yard. I guess I suspected this might be my last visit with him, but I couldn’t bear to think it.  

People Who Influenced Me - Winnie Chapman Mizell

 

My grandmother Winnie Chapman Mizell was a big influence in my life. She had only sons and adored me as the little girl she always wanted. She bought me perfect little outfits and baby dolls. She took me shopping and to lunch on Columbia Road in downtown Bogalusa, stopping to show me off to each friend we met along the way. Some of my best memories are lying in her four-poster bed next to the long row of jalousie windows. The attic fan cooled the hot, humid air, but also blasted us with the signature Bogalusa paper mill smell. We would talk and talk like two girlfriends!

 Although I loved her dearly, her influence instilled great fear into me, not only by her story of losing her five-year-old son in a hit-and-run accident, but by the worry and negativism that this great loss left her with. She warned me of how God would punish my parents and even cause something to happen to me because of the way they lived their lives. Partly because of this I struggled with trusting that God is good and loving. She taught me to worry, but God has worked on that in my life. He is still working on me in that area. If, before I die, you can see a change in me—more of the peace of God rather than worry--then let that be my testimony.

 

People Who Influenced Me - Earl Odell Foil

 

My grandfather, Earl Odell Foil, had a calm, quiet and patient manner. I adored PawPaw’s calmness. His quietness seemed a strength to me. My mother influenced my respect for him because she portrayed him as a perfect father in her childhood.  He never showed anger. I will admit we didn’t have much to talk about, but he showed me his garden, took me riding on the back of his tractor and told me about armadillos he had seen in the year. Just sitting on the porch side by side felt like security. I admired that he was a deacon in the Baptist church. Because I went to church alone as a child, I longed to go where my grandfather was “the deacon.” I wished I could live in a small town like Bogalusa where MY grandfather was the Postmaster!

People Who Influenced Me - Rosa Green Foil

 

My grandmother, Rosa Green Foil, was a great influence in my life. In many ways, she inspired me to become a Christian. She and my grandfather raised their children in First Baptist Church in Bogalusa, Louisiana. She had been raised herself in Enon Baptist Church. The Green family was large and full of heritage! Heritage I longed for. I saw in their lives what people call “salt of the earth” and “good people.” Their lives seemed connected, clean and peaceful in comparison to my lonely life. As they say “there’s more to the story.”

Although she was sometimes judgmental and religious, it was because of her insistence and the strong Baptist background in her family, that I was sent to a Sunday School as a child even though my parents did not go. I really did fall in love with Jesus there.  I may not have understood much, but I believed and I longed for him.

I loved my grandmother’s intelligence, her smile and her giggles. She was a story teller, and I got my love of family and heritage from her. I save little clippings and keepsakes like she did. Her handwritten family history was the inspiration to do my own. Like the face on the creamy pink cameo that had been her engagement gift, she was the face of heritage to me – and that heritage was Christian. I am very grateful.

 

The Warm-Up

I’ve watched a lot of baseball the past few years. Who knew I'd actually begin to understand the game! We spent all day Saturday at LSU for a double-header. It was windy, wet and cold. The team suffered a disappointing turn-around in the first game and lost it.

 

Disheartened and tired, they began warm-ups for the second game. Before each game, the players get into their positions and practiced throws to each other - high balls and grounders - maintaining the flexibility they already gained from the more intense pre-game warmups. I had sat through them hundreds of times, but hardly noticed. This day, sat in my seat bored and cold. My morning devotional had been about gratitude in small things, I began to be grateful to be able to be there to support - uncomfortable as it was. To be with family….and even to be there FOR THE WARMUP!

 

I noticed the skill and athleticism each player had, built from years of training and years of hard work, hours of sweat and sacrifice.  What WENT WITHOUT SAYING was the warmup. Once the game started, the real feats would begin. The warm-up always seemed like busy work. The players could do it in their sleep. But today I SAW it. I appreciated it!

 

The team had pulled themselves out of disappointment …AGAIN. Did the warm-up help in that process? Here they were, warming up…AGAIN. I looked at my grandsons and wondered, how many "again's" they would face in their lifetimes. I wish I’d paid attention at all the other “warm-ups”. I could have learned from their faithfulness, patience, hard work.

 

Disappointed and tired…they got in position, and did it again. Even the routine throws...grounders, hard-balls and high-balls…. reflected flexibility and skill far above most of the spectators. Far above all the arm-chair quarterbacks. (is that what they call them in baseball?) It showed their readiness to do it all again, to put it all out there.

 

The warm-up "went without saying." Of course, they warmed up! Of course, each one had the skill to catch every ball. That went without saying! They were part of the team.

 

What things go without saying in your life? In this senior season, what things go without saying? Without having to decide or plan? Without recognition? Without being noticed?

 

·        marriages, families and careers built

·        friendships formed and nurtured

·        years of grounding in the God's Word

·        prayers prayed in secret

·        faith, courage and patience formed in our characters

·        Just "showing up" year after year

The seemingly boring things…things that GO WITHOUT SAYING

…thankless activities you don’t even remember accomplishing.

 

Things like morning devotionals, prayer, expressions of thanksgiving, meals prepared, journaling to the Lord, acts of service no one noticed…

 

What "bits" of faith did you muster this week that went without saying? For me, I attended a funeral and offered hugs and prayers. I prayed day and night for a grandson in Marine boot camp. I gave counsel to a friend. Filled in for a parent. Offered gratitude for it all to God. I practiced patience in the mundane - sometimes I succeeded.

 

In it all, the heart, skill, wisdom and strength to do these basics look like a mere warm-up, but, in truth,  are possible because of  years of drills, training, routine, practice. Even as we age, here we are – in position – again – warmed up by life’s routines, training, exercises…ready. Of what does your warm-up consist?

 

A great game, a win, a championship would never happen without the warmup. It may have taken a while to find the right team, right game, right sport, the right routine - perhaps the warm up is "for such a time as this." Are there purposes for which you are being prepared? Your "team" is depending on you. The body of Christ needs you conditioned, warmed up and ready for the game. Your family needs you.

 

Have you been warming up a long time? What do you bring to the game? Have you thought the warm-up equaled the game? Stayed there! Afraid to get in the game. You may not experience defeat that way, but you will never know the thrill of a win. In 2 Timothy 4:3, we are told to "Be ready in season and out." Be ready for what the Lord calls you to. Don't skip the warm up! Be ready to get in the game!

  

Helen Keller said "I long to accomplish a great and noble task. But it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

 

 James 1:4 "And let endurance (patience, steadfastness) have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete (mature), lacking in nothing."