Pour Out Your Heart

Several years ago, I read an article by Beth Moore that helped me learn to pray. She talked about allowing God to "satisfy us in the morning with His unfailing love," as the writer of Psalm 90:14 prayed. Every day we awaken to new needs and concerns. So many things crowd our minds and hearts. There is no room for God to come in and fill us with peace and love. Beth talks about Psalm 62:8 which says, "pour out your heart before Him." Pouring out involves confessing sins and shortcomings, but also just telling God honestly how we feel. Did someone hurt our feelings? Are we angry? Do we feel discouraged? Do we have no interest in praying? Do we doubt? I am learning to give up the idea of praying a perfect, spiritual prayer. I'll settle for just telling God about all these things. I am amazed at much freer I feel after I empty all these thoughts out. God knows it all anyway, and understands. Pouring it all out makes room for wisdom, encouragement and direction to flood in. Simple ideas come about how to plan my day. I remember to pray for a family member or situation. Insights about the Lord come. His joy, peace and love seem more real and present. Other people and EVEN OURSELVES often interrupt, criticize or distract. Only God always lets us pour out our hearts to Him in honesty.

Encouragement

This morning I read my daughter's blog. She told of a powerful sermon she heard yesterday about fulfilling your calling on earth. This encouraged her to continue to wait for the daughter they have applied to adopt from China. I am encouraged as a grandmother to fervently pray for this to come about and to pray for other children who will be adopted into our family. I will pray about the timing, the expense, the red tape, the birth parents, and the health and well-being of the babies. God will give us what we need to fulfill His purposes in our lives.

I am also encouraged to continue in what He has called me to do. I know my primary calling is to be the wife, mother, grandmother, and friend He wants me to be, but I also believe I am to write--really just to share what the Lord ministers to me. In addition to writing devotionals and maybe a few articles, I would like to help older people write their life stories and prepare ethical wills to leave to their children. I know how precious the handwritten life story my grandmother left is to me. An ethical will or spiritual legacy bequeaths values instead of valuables. It is a chance to say, "this is what mattered to me." I was getting a little discouraged and questioning my own calling, but Jennifer's blog this morning encouraged me.

Innie or Outie?

Are you an innie or an outie?

Did you know that 75% of the world's population are extroverts? I'm reading a really good book about introverts called The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney. I have learned that the primary difference between introverts and extroverts is in the way they create their energy. Extroverts get their energy from outside sources. They are energized by talking to people and by lots of activities. Introverts draw energy from being alone with their ideas, emotions and impressions. They feel overstimulated by being around a lot of people.

Introverts live in a world biased in favor of extroverts. Contrary to popular belief they may not be shy and really do like people--just not too many people for too long a time! They need a less stimulating environment to recharge their energy. I'm beginning to see how my extrovert daughter might have felt a little misunderstood by introvert parents! And now she's raising at least one introvert herself!

Another difference is that introverts use long-term memory when talking to people while extroverts use short-term memory. Extroverts are quicker and think on their feet. Introverts often miss the opportunity to get into a conversation because their mind goes blank--it takes longer to retrieve their thoughts out of long-term memory. They also don't like to interrupt. Extroverts just charge into conversations, interrupting each other and leaving the introverts standing their feeling a little stupid.

The world is certainly a more interesting place because we are not all alike. Innies and Outies married to each other face special challenges. It does help to understand that both ends of the spectrum are okay--just different. I know it helped this introvert to see some reasons I am like I am.

Squeezed In

We just moved into an apartment--a step along the way to moving across town and closer to our kids and grandkids. We are buying my daughter's house and will move in October or November when her new house is finished. The new place is more country, on three acres. It feels like a whole new life to us for many reasons. Not only will we be closer to family but also to church and friends. Ralph will retire there. We hope to be even more involved as grandparents. The timing coincides with me finishing my Christian Writers Guild course--this is the time I determined I would get serious about submitting articles and devotionals.
As I got rid of things and packed boxes, I pictured the 900 square foot apartment acting like a filter--squeezing my life into it and then out into our new place--our "new life." I determined not to put "stuff" into the new place that does not fit our new life. A neat thought, but this week I'm feeling the squeeze! I don't know how to act in this place! It's in a different part of town, so every errand is an adventure. Every task takes longer because I have to find everything. I had projects planned for this time: catch up on scrapbookking; catch up on reading; start a blog; send out a few articles I've written. I'm accomplishing a few of these, but, mostly, I'm drowning in clutter--which I thought I got rid of during the move. I don't know where to put anything!
My devotional in God Calling this morning says that God leads us out of darkness to light and out of disorder to order. Okay, Lord, I'm ready for some of that order. This give new meaning the to scripture "He brought me out into a spacious place. He rescued me." Psalm 18:19

Gratitude

Our entire family spent a whole week at the beach in June. It had been four years since we had all been together for a vacation, since my son and his family moved away for his residency. I am so thankful for this special family time and especially for our new little grandson who was born in January--the portrait wouldn't have been complete without him. I felt like my grandmother when she used to say, "all my chicks under one roof!".
I finally got the family portrait I longed for. Handsome group, huh? Thank you, Lord.

Journaling via Blogging

Well, I've finally entered the world of blogging! A little scary. For over thirty years, I have guarded my morning devotional time. Many times, as soon as I got together my Bible, journal, and cup of coffee, I heard the scurrying of feet and looked up to see three little faces grinning at me. Now my mornings are quieter. Why the journal? Writing helps me sort out and understand my thoughts. Often within my scribbling of ideas, worries, scripture, prayers, to-do lists, and sometimes even rantings, I find the voice of God. I don't know how people hear from God without journaling. Going back and reading old journals is sometimes embarassing, often insightful, and always encouraging--I can see how God continues to work on me. He adjusts my thinking, and, because my thinking still needs a lot of adjustment, I chose Phillipians 4:8 as the theme of this blog. Just like my journal, the blog is a place to share what's on my heart--even if no one reads. I was hesitant to give the computer a place in my sacred time, but, here we go...