This article was published in The Advocate Human Condition column on July 12, 2020.
My
calendar and I have a love-hate relationship. Why does a retired empty-nester
need a planner? I didn’t expect to be so busy. What a wonderful surprise to
have a life so full that I still need to plan and to remember what I plan.
Many
times, people ask "what do you do with your time?" Almost every
retired person I would answer – “Ha! I’m
busier than ever! How did I have time to work?” But when they ask, “what did
you do this week?” my mind draws a blank. What did I do? The planner helps me
see and remember that I actually did do quite a bit!
My
planner was chocked full for March April and May. I started putting smiley
faces for each grandchild who was coming to stay. My older grandsons play
baseball for LSU, so purple and gold stickers mark game days. I use other
symbols and abbreviations so I can see at-a-glance what I need to do -
meetings, appointments, church, Bible studies, trips to see my out-of-town
children and grandchildren, lunches with friends. Checking off to-do’s feels
good. At the end of a month, it I loved to look at all I did. Each smiley face
carried a memory.
Even so,
the calendar was at times a source of frustration. Sometimes it made me tired
just to look at it! In February, I
looked at the calendar for spring and wondered how I could accomplish all.
Where would I get the stamina to run the errands, do all my “stuff” and be at
Alex Box many evenings for baseball games. But, I was oh so excited!
Like all
of you, on March 12, 2020 my calendar became obsolete. Baseball season was
cancelled. I was no longer needed to babysit. In fact, no little people visit
my house. Every appointment was marked “cancelled.” There would be no trips to
Houston or Colorado or visits from family there.
For weeks
I actually couldn't bear to look at the calendar. It hurt too much. It sat on
my table as a memorial to all I lost this spring, so I hid it way. As I
remembered how I had complained about being busy, I cringed.
Through
most of April, I didn't take it out, but soon I realized I was missing family
birthdays! Friends didn’t get birthday cards. Some things on the calendar still
mattered!
Now it doesn’t hurt as much to look at the purple and gold and the little
smiley faces on the calendar. I missed a lot this spring, but I am so grateful
that I had a lot to miss! This crisis has given me compassion for those who are
lonely and isolated. A time will come when the grandchildren are grown and
busy, and my calendar won’t be so full. I’m not ready for that.
The
stay-at-home order was a wake- up call to check my gratitude-attitude! How fitting that the planner I bought for
this year has a page at the end of every month to list things I am grateful
for. It’s a list I won’t ignore! What fun it will be when the planner begins to
fill up again! I’ll try not to complain.
UPDATE: As this appeared on our church blog on July 24, 2020, I added this introduction:
This is an
article published in "The Human Condition" column of The Advocate a few weeks ago. You may
ask, "why write for a secular column?" One thing I learned at
Christian writer's conferences and by submitting devotionals for various
publications is that each one has a targeted audience. They only publish what
fits their criteria and purposes. The Human Condition is just that - people
write stories that readers can connect to in their own "human
condition". Connections help us see
we are not alone. What better time to make a connection? We are the light of
the world! That light shines even in everyday matters Actually it may shine
brighter there! At a time when people feel loss and loneliness, why not sow
seeds of understanding? Why not shine a light - if only a hint or glimmer - on
the One to whom we offer gratitude?
The
response I received to the column confirmed to me that many really
"got" the message. So, when thinking about how to shine the light of
Jesus outside of church walls, think outside the box. We can choose to look at
the pulpit or platform that we don't have or allow God to show us ordinary,
humble ways to sow what we do have. I
don't get out much these days! But, I pray that I may still sow light and life.
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