Saturday, July 18, 2020

My Empty Calendar Made Me Check My Gratitude Attitude


This article was published in The Advocate Human Condition column on July 12, 2020.

My calendar and I have a love-hate relationship. Why does a retired empty-nester need a planner? I didn’t expect to be so busy. What a wonderful surprise to have a life so full that I still need to plan and to remember what I plan.

Many times, people ask "what do you do with your time?" Almost every retired person I would answer – “Ha!  I’m busier than ever! How did I have time to work?” But when they ask, “what did you do this week?” my mind draws a blank. What did I do? The planner helps me see and remember that I actually did do quite a bit!

My planner was chocked full for March April and May. I started putting smiley faces for each grandchild who was coming to stay. My older grandsons play baseball for LSU, so purple and gold stickers mark game days. I use other symbols and abbreviations so I can see at-a-glance what I need to do - meetings, appointments, church, Bible studies, trips to see my out-of-town children and grandchildren, lunches with friends. Checking off to-do’s feels good. At the end of a month, it I loved to look at all I did. Each smiley face carried a memory.

Even so, the calendar was at times a source of frustration. Sometimes it made me tired just to look at it!  In February, I looked at the calendar for spring and wondered how I could accomplish all. Where would I get the stamina to run the errands, do all my “stuff” and be at Alex Box many evenings for baseball games. But, I was oh so excited! 

Like all of you, on March 12, 2020 my calendar became obsolete. Baseball season was cancelled. I was no longer needed to babysit. In fact, no little people visit my house. Every appointment was marked “cancelled.” There would be no trips to Houston or Colorado or visits from family there.

For weeks I actually couldn't bear to look at the calendar. It hurt too much. It sat on my table as a memorial to all I lost this spring, so I hid it way. As I remembered how I had complained about being busy, I cringed.

Through most of April, I didn't take it out, but soon I realized I was missing family birthdays! Friends didn’t get birthday cards. Some things on the calendar still mattered!

Now it doesn’t hurt as much to look at the purple and gold and the little smiley faces on the calendar. I missed a lot this spring, but I am so grateful that I had a lot to miss! This crisis has given me compassion for those who are lonely and isolated. A time will come when the grandchildren are grown and busy, and my calendar won’t be so full. I’m not ready for that.

The stay-at-home order was a wake- up call to check my gratitude-attitude!  How fitting that the planner I bought for this year has a page at the end of every month to list things I am grateful for. It’s a list I won’t ignore! What fun it will be when the planner begins to fill up again! I’ll try not to complain.

UPDATE: As this appeared on our church blog on July 24, 2020, I added this introduction:

This is an article published in "The Human Condition" column of The Advocate a few weeks ago. You may ask, "why write for a secular column?" One thing I learned at Christian writer's conferences and by submitting devotionals for various publications is that each one has a targeted audience. They only publish what fits their criteria and purposes. The Human Condition is just that - people write stories that readers can connect to in their own "human condition".  Connections help us see we are not alone. What better time to make a connection? We are the light of the world! That light shines even in everyday matters Actually it may shine brighter there! At a time when people feel loss and loneliness, why not sow seeds of understanding? Why not shine a light - if only a hint or glimmer - on the One to whom we offer gratitude?

 

The response I received to the column confirmed to me that many really "got" the message. So, when thinking about how to shine the light of Jesus outside of church walls, think outside the box. We can choose to look at the pulpit or platform that we don't have or allow God to show us ordinary, humble ways to sow what we do have.  I don't get out much these days! But, I pray that I may still sow light and life. 





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